Can we achieve true love? Agape Love? Committed love? I think all of these are possible to achieve. in order to achieve true love with a significant partner, we have to learn to become vulnerable and transparent in our conversations and actions with another person. Vulnerable is defined as suspectable to physical or emotional harm. Well, while I do not believe in making yourself a target for either physical or emotional insult, I do believe when we embark upon an intimate relationship, prepare to do a deep dive into elements that go into the making of this person and his/her perspective on life. You will release some of your power and control as you trust that this person will honor your values, belief, and desires. There is a multitude of relationship styles. This being fully committed, monogenous relationships ranging to multiple variations of committed, but open to other outside interest. Regardless of the type of relationship, there needs to be an open dialogue of expectations from each partner which reflects one another needs. When partners lack transparent and honest communication, distrust, dishonor, and hurt ensue. This in turn can lead to reactions and emotions including but not limited to defensiveness, unforgiveness, bitterness, depression, anxiety, and physical abuse. Most impressive is the scar that results from a sour relationship, thus leading to negative behaviors and thought patterns.
These behaviors can result in a person not achieving his/her full potential in a relationship. With this being said, let’s take a deeper dive into the relationship of love. It is my humble opinion that true love starts within a person. In order to fully love a person- if we define love as respect, honoring values and beliefs then you must start by honoring your own values and beliefs. This action takes introspection and awareness of what fulfills your needs. These desires can be educational, financial physical, spiritual, etc. When you recognize your personal desires, accept them, and explore them, then you will be able to find your parallel partner. So when should we start our introspection process? childhood, teens, young adulthood? Are we capable of self-acceptance? Do we seek relationships with other people before we seek a relationship with ourselves?
